"Treacherous & Unintended Consequences"

The following are brief remarks given at Christian Community Church on April 28, reflecting on the recent violent acts that filled the news, including the Easter bombings in Sri Lanka. They have been lightly edited.

CW: Mass and state-sanctioned violence, anti-semitism

***

Last Sunday, April 21, coordinated attacks at Christian churches and luxury hotels in Sri Lanka killed approximately 253 people and injured more than 500 more. (https://nypost.com/2019/04/25/sri-lanka-easter-bombing-death-toll-revised-to-253/ ) The investigation is ongoing, but Sri Lankan officials announced that the attacks were carried out by a “local Islamist militant group, with suspected international assistance.” The Sri Lankan State Minister of Defense further speculated that the bombings were in retaliation for the mosque attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand, last March. And, whether it is true or not, the “Islamic State claimed responsibility for the attack, which it said … targeted Christians and ‘citizens of Crusader coalition states.’” (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/sri-lanka-easter-bombings-retaliation-for-christchurch-mosque-shootings-says-official/ar-BBWa1GU?ocid=spartanntp )

Climate Change and Economic Inequality

I recently participated in a local event honoring Earth Day, featuring presentations on climate change, the IPCC report, and the Green New Deal. I delivered a brief presentation that highlighted the connections between climate change and economic justice. My remarks are lightly edited. 

***

If you have a pragmatist in your life, you have no doubt heard the saying, “Hope for the best; prepare for the worst.” It’s good sense, although it breaks down when it comes to the topic of catastrophic climate change. There’s no real way we can adequately comprehend, let alone prepare for, the worst case scenario here. In fact, this is the most risky and horrifying case of brinkmanship we have ever engaged in as a species.

What’s frustratingly difficult for most of us is our relative powerlessness when it comes to actually doing something meaningful to address climate change. It is true that all of us, especially all of us in the United States, are complicit. But we have also known for years that climate change is most driven by the choices of the very rich, and it is much easier to change light bulbs and grocery bags than the decisions of the rich and powerful. Addressing climate change will necessarily require addressing economic justice; they cannot be separated.  

Social Rejection & Social Change

I delivered this reflection on April 7, 2019, at Community Christian Church. After introducing some of the growing body of research that documents the impacts of social rejection on human health, I raise some questions about how we might more strategically build community and work for social change. It is lightly edited.

***

CW: Sl-t shaming, bullying, social rejection

I was finishing high school when Bill Clinton was elected president of the United States. By his impeachment trial, I was in graduate school. And by the time he left office, I was married and working at a university. So it was that Clinton’s administration provided the context for me as a person growing into an understanding of myself, the world, and humanity’s place in it. The policies and debates of that time, both good and bad, invited me to think critically about all sorts of things that remain important in my life.

Honesty and Hope

I delivered this reflection on March 10, 2019, at Community Christian Church. It is lightly edited. Also, because this topic was too big for such a brief talk, I am creating a workbook to encourage reflective practices on working with uncertainty while we work together for social change. I'll link to it here when it is completed.  


CW: Climate Change, Climate Anxiety, Topics related to Emotional Distress

***

Like many of you, my own path has included a process of giving up dishonest certainty in favor of honest uncertainty. Like all humans, I’ve experienced hardship, from health conditions to traumatic experiences to economic vulnerability to marginalization and rejection. However, being honest about just how far that uncertainty extends into daily life is usually neither comfortable nor easy. 

Gender Neutral Pronouns

Gender neutral pronouns are useful in general, but for many folks who identify outside the female/male gender binary, they can be an important part of self-advocacy and shifting social norms to include nonbinary gender identities. 

Many nonbinary folk still use binary pronouns, such as she and he. However, many of us have chosen to use gender neutral pronouns, such as they/them or xe/xir. 

1. Good news: you already know how to use them!

Even if this feels unusual to you, it is very likely that you already use gender neutral pronouns, perhaps without realizing it. For example, if you see a phone sitting on a table, you might say: 

 "I wonder who left their phone here? I hope they can get it back soon. I wonder how I can find them to give it back?" 

2. Third Person Pronouns

Please note that we are talking about third person pronouns. For example, if you are speaking to me, you would say, 

I think you will love this movie, it might be your new favorite! (second person)

If you are speaking about me, you would say, 

I think they will love this movie; it might be their new favorite! (third person)

3. Communicating Respect, Shifting Norms

Using the appropriate pronouns is a way of showing that you respect our gender identities, and that you want to be part of shifting social norms to include diverse genders. Thank you!

And don't worry - most of us are accustomed to folks making mistakes. Shifting norms takes practice! If you mess up, just pause, use the correct pronoun, and keep going. 

However, many of us experience a refusal to use our pronouns as a signal that you don't respect our identities or our efforts to create a just society. If you find yourself resistant to using the appropriate pronouns, I would invite you to spend some time reflecting on why that is, how your resistance is impacting your relationship with the person(s) involved, and how it might impact your commitment to social justice. 

4. More Information

If you are interested in learning more, here are some resources that you may find helpful:

• "What Is the Singular They, and Why Should I Use It?" by Celeste Mora (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/use-the-singular-they/ )
• "A brief history of singular ‘they'" from Oxford English Dictionary (https://public.oed.com/blog/a-brief-history-of-singular-they/ )
• "Singular 'They'" from Merriam-Webster (https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/singular-nonbinary-they )
• "All Your Questions About Gender-Neutral Pronouns Answered" by Desmond Meagley and Youth Radio (https://www.teenvogue.com/story/they-them-questions-answered )
• "What If Someone Makes a Mistake and Mispronouns Someone Else?" (https://www.mypronouns.org/mistakes )
• "Pronouns and Misgendering" (https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/pronouns-and-misgendering/ )

And 

• Although light on the use of gender neutral pronouns, a good resource for encouraging one another to respect pronouns in professional settings is "How To Respectfully Use Gender Pronouns In The Workplace" by David Galowich (https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2018/08/02/how-to-respectfully-use-gender-pronouns-in-the-workplace/ ). 

Thank you!

We Don't Have to Do This Alone (Community Responses to Sexual Abuse)

CW: childhood sexual abuse and related topics

On January 27, 2019, I took part in a panel presentation and discussion on the subject of addressing childhood sexual abuse and pedophilia in our communities. The panel included researchers, mental health providers, pastors, and community activists. I gave the concluding remarks, which appear here in a lightly edited form. 

***

Pedophilia and child sexual abuse are topics that we are not used to discussing at all, let alone in public, which is why included multiple voices here today. We need all these perspectives: researchers, practitioners, pastors, parents, survivors, artists, and more. For myself, I’ve also dealt with this issue on multiple levels. I experienced sexual abuse as a child; I’ve worked with both perpetrators and victims while providing pastoral care and community programming; I’ve been a foster parent to children who experienced sexual abuse; I’ve been an artist who channeled anger, grief, healing, and hope into music and writing. 

Normalizing Justice

This reflection is taken from the content I am currently developing for the Welcoming Path formation program. It serves as an introduction to readings and discussions on Martha Nussbaum's Creating Capabilities: The Human Development Approach. I have edited it to be a stand alone piece here. 

***

The Welcoming Path Formation Program is oriented around giving us concepts, skills, and tools that help us relate to our experience, and especially our efforts to bring about social change, in ways that are more sustainable, resilient, life-giving, wise, and kind. We began with reflexive practice - identifying our theories of change, looking and listening deeply to our experiences with the expectation to adapt our strategies to better meet our needs, creating communities where we expect to learn and grow together, and working together across personal, relational, structural, and cultural dimensions to make robust movements.